Forever my babyboy♥

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

TML is our anniversary but he is working. i dun blame him for that cause it seem that we dun celebrate anythingg[except valentine] and even birthday. how pathetic. hahas. but nevermind.

TODAY i have been rolling and tossing on bed for a few hours before dawn.finally get to sleep around 3 or 4 plus!! i wondered what really had happened to me that caused me to flip and tossed on the bed for hours. meantime, i was messaging with deardear cause i guess i have caused him to stay awake to chat with me. play wow awhile after i wake up and i started doing some online stuff. staying at home to rot was pretty alright for me. at least, i lose a few kg of fats while rotting at home as i have been using computer for like 8-9 hours a day,without using any energy or thinking and having only 2meals a day. sometimes,i only have 1 meal. lols. meet my cousin at bugis and we went to shop for my another cousin birthday present. finally bought 2 pretty nice clothing. lols. i have been chionging hana kimi this few days. it was really a nice show alright. wow was an addiction too.

YTD deardear came over to my house to teach me how to play wow. maybe i should say, i am not as blur as the first day i touched wow!! after that, i went to drop down so personal thought in the diary that i promised him that i will show it to him once i finish it. [being frank,e last page will never be written] continued to play wow again in the night till pretty late. trying to find things to kill my boredom and make me dont think too much about stuff that is happening around me. that;s not me.

somtimes, i feel that i am so lonely. being left alone somewhere to handle everything myself. i need a listening ears, i need someone to listen to my problems and share a thought for me. i realised i have been stuffing every problem in my heart. till now, i am still stuffing and stuffing and it looks like a mountain now. it is soon to explode someday. i have no one to look to, no one that share the same thought as me, no one that is having a shattered heart like i have, no one that is feeling as miserable as i am, no one that understand how i actually feel, no one that have a complicated family like i have, no one that is born in a complicated family and being dumped, no one that have gone through the life i am having, no one no one that understand how terrible it is to being suans every now and then, no one that know how to appreciate someone when they did something for their sake. there's really no one.. no one.. no one!! sighh..

i want to be the cheerful peiwen that i used to be. i want to be the someone that bring a smile on her face no matter what had happened. i dun want to face all this kind of stuffs anymore.. i cant tolerate it any longer, i want to shout it loud.. scream till the whole world know how miserable i am.how hurtful my life is.... =( stop making my life miserable...

[sorry people..being M00dy this few days]

♥our lips must always be sealed

11:30 PM