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LOVING MYSELF

WINNIE (: not WED-NIE
older on every 8th april :]
winne the pooh lover
loves to eat SUSHI :)

101% happy with my life now

♥ my DEAR

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married before age 24
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♥ July 2006
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Creditorials

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Tuesday, January 30, 2007

this morning post for today was rather short so i am back here to write a longer entry now as i was rather bored now.

i reached bugis around 115pm and went to shop for dear present.i didnt know what he liked cause he dun seem to like anything else except games.s0,i finally b0ught a t-shirt at newbie.rush down to meet him at parco entrance.then we walked to bugis street to shop.there's plenty of nice clothing but i dun really have much cash to spent on clothing as i have to get myself the jiucy conture bag.walked around the street for twice and i finally saw the juicy conture bag at this shop.it was rather nice so i ask deardear to ask for the price.initially,it was selling at $25 but the shop owner gave me a discount and sold it to me at $22. although it was only $3 difference,at least,i save the $3. [without being defiant,i got myself that bag.] deardear bought me a crowny belt too as i needed a belt badly. it was rather funny just now. deardear went to buy [ ] and i got so lost that time and i was choosing it for him.ohmygod.it was so embarassing cann.deardear,u better be touched.hahah. i saw a lot of nice clothing that i wanted to get it. deardear wanted to buy it for me but i rejected his offer. after shopping for a little while more,we left for home. chatted a lot on the train and was rather disappointed,definately not at him but at some other people.


side message : let those gossiper gossip all they want. as long as i knew clearly that i did not do it, i will not fear that it would hurt my feeling and also our relationship.

Friday, January 26, 2007

life sucks. it isnt getting any better. i am dropping into the deep ground full of emotional problems. tons of problems for me to handle yet increasing as days pass.

22-23 jan
reachedmy mum's workplace quite early thus i went to walk around the place.saw lots of nice clothing,bags,earring but didnt want to buy it. i finally get to rest around 2plus and i am feeling so restless. sleepover at my jurong home for 1day. it was very errie actually. then called deardear around 1130 and we chatted till about 1plus going 2 cause i was very sleepy and my eyes was very soared.however,i was tossing very badly on bed and couldnt get to sleep.mum woke me up at 6am but i was already awaken at that time. i didnt sleep for a night. took a cab down to sista school and then went to buy my breakfast. went back home to have my breakfast but i slept on the sofa till 11plus.wash up and quickly took a bus down to sista school to fetch her home. went back to my westcoast house and dear called me to chat after his work. =)

24jan
went down to my mum's workplace to help her as usual.however,i am feeling extremely tired. i guess i havent had a good sleep the previous. walking to and fro to help her buy stuffs and as usual,i didnt want to meet the fruit stall guys so i walked the longer way.however,no matter where i walked,i will still see them.damnit.so yup,took a train home cause im really worn out at that time.having a heavy eyes and will sleep at any particular time. it was already 11plus but deardear still didnt reply my message or called me.i was getting ultimatly worried for him and i flood his message by sending 3.however,he only reply me around 12plus and told me that he was playing game with lance and blahs. initially,i got so angry at him cause i was so worried for him yet he was playing games and he didnt even care about how i was feeling. however,what's over is over.i realised that it was usless to get angry or sad over it.sometimes,i just dun get him.his actions and words are really hurting. =/

25 jan
was feeling rather sick so i stayed home and didnt went down to my mum's workplace to help her out.was simpily rotting as much at home and at work.time passed by rather fast and it was already night time.was waiting for deardear to take his innitative to message or call me and he really did.so chatted with him for like 45minutes.then i went back online and off to bed.

26jan
woke up rather late today.dear was sicked today thus he didnt went to work in the morning.however,the stubborn him still want to go to work even though he was sick.fine.that;s it.he just dun want to take care of himself. LOL.
so now,i am here blogging this stuffs for the past few days. bc cant make it today so we cant go out le. anyway, BOREDOM kills. luckily, tml i am going to work at e stadium again.
i dun wish to get hurt anymore. =(


side-message : I WANT TO FIND BACK THE PAST THAT WE HAD. I DUN WANT EVERYTHING TO BE DRIFTED APART. I LOVE U REALLY.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

feeling so nervous now. starting to panick already. sigh. i cant sleep

my frenx just told me that o level result be will out on 2ndfeb which is on deardear birthday?aww,deardear,this is such a ridiculous present for u. DUMB.

prays hard*

Sunday, January 21, 2007

being short..
i heard that o level result is coming out soon in about 2weeks time? hearing about this has scared me off,yet,what most fearful is that the 2006 batch result was very badly done.as in,having a MODERATION.
sighh. *prayhards*

Thursday, January 18, 2007

finally back after donkey days.in short,back from my emotional problems.

15jan
meet up with bc and maaye for lunch and we went to our normal meeting place to meet-up the rest.reach national stadium and waited for others at the conference room?we were separated into groups.that was lucky as i gotta work at grandstand again.it wasnt fun at all cause i am rotting over there-luckily bc was working at the same spot with me. (: time really passed by real slowly that day and what i wish for was to knock off from work. meet up with the rest and we go back to the conference room to get our pay. took e train down to clmenti,bought my dinner and dear accompany home after that.
*heard a lot of things-whatever it is,that night was a total disappointment for me.

16jan
went for lunch at dhobyghuat with [[ii forgot who]] and later on,meet up with weiboon and her sis at the bus-stop outside parkmall.that we walked to fortcanning hill park for e ursher for e muse concert.[it's time to exercise!!]] im panting so badly when climbing that long stairs.after waiting for sometimes,we gathered and were divided into different groups. so happy. dear and i were in the same group and we were incharge of the same place too. we talked alott there until some supervisors wanna him to go down and incharge of some other things.so im all alone there with one supervisors.haha.he was fun and he talked alot of nonsence to me!!lols.woah,muse concert was not bad and i view it from e topview.cools.after the concert which was about 10++,we get our pay and went home.took e train down to clementi,went to buy my dinner at e coffee-shop around and than waited for bus at 12!!

17jan
meet up and have lunch with deardear,hariani,bc,han and jk and then went for work.worked with bc and hariani but at different side.meet new frenx[yuelin] and chatted alot.my supervisor[don] was fun!!he entertains us alot cause we were like rotting over there.thanks for all his ghost story that i got so scared over it. so that day was kinda busy for us and i met alot of different person.

18jan
finally got my endless sleep after donkey days.
*heard alot of things again.

19jan
went down to my mum's workplace to help her out!!my cousin came around 3plus and we were like chatting and playing like mad!!around 6,i took e train down to clementi to meet dear!!dear was very late!!walked around the flea market and we went to e japanese restaurant to eat.haha.reached home,watched aiqingmofashi again to kill boredom.

20jan
watch aiqingmofashi and was doing the 1000 pieces jig jaw puzzle.i have to complete it by dear birthday cause i want to give it to him though i love it alott. at least,i have the patience or i will never finish it.

sidemessage : so stressed up-with family problems,with friends problems too.


im lost~i cant find myself and i dun understand myself too..
every joys,it makes me happier.
every tears,it makes me stronger.
every downs,it makes me love u more.
behind me, i know there is u who cares for me!! =)

sidenotes : boy,thanks for going through this up and down with me-those joys and laughter,those joys and sorrow and not to forget,those tears that shed. =)

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

i chrish u alot..
i love u alot alot alot...
i cared u alot..
i trust u alot..
i believe u alott..
i hurt alott..
i cried alott.
i tried to be understanding..
i tried not to control u..

i wondered when will my smiles be back again without tears?
i dun want to get hurt anymore.
i dun want to get sad anymore.
i want to be happy as always.
i want to be the PEIWEN i used to be.



i hid myself under the blaket and cried myself to bed.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

down with emotional problems this few days. i have never seen a smile on my face ever since!! life isnt as good as ever. =(


11jan- have to meet up bc and people for job interview.however,i was down with a bad soareyes,i wake up late and i was late to meet them.sigh.we went up to the place and have to fill in some form.than each of us has to go for an interview with the manager.the manager wants me to work over there and he asks me to start work on the 18th??woah.i thought i would have heard wrongly.lols.others also got the job too. =) so,i went back home with my dearr to take my stuffs.grandma was like laughing at me for getting that jobs when i reach home.than,dear and i went to westmall cause he needs to buy a black jeans for work.ahas.finally got his jeans for 50% off.that's like so great.thann wentt homee andd slackkk.....

12jan- went to my formal school in the evening as there was sec1 orientation.we were late for like 30minutes and the event has already started.we were left with only 15minutes more for cca recuirtment.i did try.i went round to talk to the sec1s and asks them join scout.1 or 2 were keen about it but others simpily just ignored you like you dun exist.convince this girl to join scoutt but she wants to consider it again cause her frenx didnt wanna join.LOL.after that,we slack in school and watch performances.went for dinner after that but i didnt eat anything.my mood was super low. 9856744502 moody . i wonderr when will my smile comes back again???

13jan- dear woke up late thus he couldnt meet us at clementi.meet maaye and we took the train down to dobbyghuat.after that,meet weiboon and went plaza singapura.dear han and jk was late!!dearr was reallyy someone who dun regonise road.so thanks hannah for bringing him over.than took a bus down to national stadium.reported for work and stuffs.than we were like separated into teams.me wb and maaye were actually together but the managers said that it is very chaotic at the place we were incharge,so there is a need to have guys over there.so maaye was swap over and a guy came.the guy was funny larh.sadded.i was got harrassed twice..let's not talked about it anymore.it's spine chilling cann.. =( anyway,the job was pretty alright.it was veryy slack exceptt standing whole day was a problem to me.haha.after that,we have to gather and time to knock off-pay time.
although the pay was low,it is the experience that counts. weiboon,dun worry about it yea?
than on the way home,dear and i were in a cold war.he was angry and emo at me.hais.it has been an hour since we last chatted.he finally talked to me when we were under my block.he finally apologise to me.and stoppiid me broke down and cried like no body business. he was like super miserable and he almost broke down too. sighh..

if it is my fault, DEAR, i am really sorry to hurt u. sighh.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

i havent been blogging for a few days cause i am so lazy to pendown my thought. now,i am here to write this entry once i get back from the chalet and i am going to get my endless sleep later on.yawn*.

8JAN
meet up with my favourite girls and also jiunkiat and we went for lunch.we took quite long to finish our lunch and we went back to our formal school.although the school name has changed,the jintai sprite is still there alright?walked round the school and also talked to some teachers.it was so fun cause this is what i usually do in my secondary life.haha.after that,we went for our scout meeting.i swear this meeting is very boring.we ex-sec4s were rebellious.yea,we were really really rebellious.we werent listening but talking among ourself.msneo got fed-up sometimes-her looks say so.lols.the meeting lasted for 1hours and here goes the 4e1 scoutii and we proceed to giant to buy our stuffs for the next day chalet.ahas.it was pretty fun-we have lots of jokes here and there.gees.after that,we went to longjohn to have our dinner.then each of us bring one bag of bbq stuffs back home and everyone goes in a different way.xm and i took the same bus so chatted in the bus.going home was something i hated to do.i have to think of things to do so that i will not get bored.wahhas.chatted onlinee till mignight.yup.
9JAN
went online as usual in the morning.however,i realised i was going to be late and i havent packed my stuffs for the chalet later on.that;s bad of me.so quicked packed my stuffs that needed to bring to the chalet,offline and rushed down to meet maaye at the busstop.then we waited for bc at clementi cause we are going to have so lunch at sumo?the food was salty in fact.lols.ahas,waited for those groups of guys for 30minutes and we took the train down to pasirris.everyone goes their way larh*.me bc kamal weijun ilham peihui took the cab down to aloha loyang.woah.the resort was pretty big and it's really enough for 25people or more??haha.so yea,me,weijun,bc,kamal,phui wanna go down to the beach.however,the beach was terrible.there isnt and sand there but it was full of water due to the rain.sigh.we cant go to the beach then.so we went to the arcade and those children playground.lols.then we went back to the chalet and we played big2 till around bbq time.at first nancy and a few of them was bbq-ing so i wasnt keen to stand there and crowd around the bbq pit since so many people are over there.i was watching the news at that time.lols.dear was sweet as he has bbq food for me but he didnt keep for himself.haha.thanks deardear.jk was worry about hannah cause she was no where to be found.jk bc and i went round to look for hannah and maaye.lols.then we realise that they have gone somewhere futher from the resort.so i was like -_-" and jk wasnt informed.i guess i have never seen him so worry before.bc and i was busying bbqing the food till around 9++10?i finally got my butt down on the chair.then we went to play arcade in the midnight.haha.it was cool cann.bc danced parapara.hehes.
10JAN
i was still feeling hungry around 12plus.dear and jk cycle out to pasir-ris there to buy stuffs.awww,that pig was so drenched.than xm jus and dear cycle out again when the rain stops.buying stuffs back for us to eat.haha.i was like getting more and more worry when the rains get heavier.was playing big2 at that time butt u know,my heart is not there.when they come back,i was pretty relieved.however,seeing dear in this stage,i was really heartbroken.[[ sorry dear ]] .he cycle out to buy food for me cause the guys have taken mine.budden he fall and has injureed himself so badly and also got himself sick.argg..feeling so guilty now.i should have tolerate it so he will not go out once more.sighh.and i have become his maid.helping him to pack his stuffs,help him take things and blahs.ewwww,he is such a bullierr butt nevermind.haha.so have my cup noddle eaten and then i went to bed.haha.was feeling pretty tired larh. anyway,sorry to those guys whom i shouted at in the middle of the night.i was feeling very tired and i cant stand the noise they are making.ahas.went back to sleep till 930 but im still very tired.i just couldnt sleep in that environment.lols.dear jus and i leave earlier cause we 3 are collasping soon.lols.we walked down the mainroad and then realised we will take ages to reach pasirris interchange in the speed that we are walking-legetargic.we walked past coasta sand resort and i was like.. ohmygod.it;s still super long away.justine was doing his stoppid thing he do that time.trying to flag for any car that past him to stop.haha.dear than flag a cab and we went to clementi.woah.finally.have my breakfast+lunch and then went home.

this entry is done and i have going to have my endless sleep now.im dying soon.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

think there is some misunderstanding somewhere. i apologise if there is.
im not angry at anyone about the hairstyle. hair will grow and i will have a new haircutt by then. so im alright with the hairstyle even though it looks similar as other people. hair will grow.
i seem angry the previous post cause im really angry.angry at him* for lying to me and keeping things from me for so long.he knows what would have happen but yet he still do it.
i know i was soft-hearted but love is blind.love could have change everything even when you are real angryy

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

(edited)

2jan - morning was pretty bored.did nothing but slacked on bed and message mydear. cousin came in the afternoon.did 50 situps and i went to rollarblade with her.my rollar blading skills has turn rusty.sigh.i have a great fall and it hurts alot alot and i have a few bruises on my hand.sigh.how usless can i get?i swear i am not going to rollar blade anymore.i would rather ice skate than rollar blade.after the fall,we didnt blade anymore and we sat down under my block and have a conversation.wonder how long have it been since we ever sat down and talk about our secret.haha.it was pretty good.after that,we went back as we were rather tired though.then,we turn out to be jogging at the stadium-we ran about 1.2km or issit 1.6km??at least i exercise myself yesterday.haha.i have never get so entu in exercising.lols.so deardear called me yesterday night.it has been ages since we chatted on phone.we either meet up or message.no wonder my message burst almost every month.lols.chatted for almost an hour and i went to bed.

3jan- happy birthday mark. woke up as early as 630am cause my bro has to go to school and he was pestering everyone for his whatever certificate.went back to sleep and woke up almost 10.left house and make my way to alexandra hospital with my aunty and grandpa cause grandpa has a appoinment.it has been a waste of time there cause we only stayed there for 15minutes.we took a cab there and took a cab back- in total,the cab fees is about 10bucks?zgosh. reached home and i started to play audition.so yea,today is the first day of school.hope everyone[those sec4s and those going for 3months] enjoy their schooling life although i know it was hard to change their usual routine.hahaha.i guess i have to end here now. (: gonna watch superstar in the night.daren better get in to the top6.hahha

time really flies.we are gonna get back out result soon.i am sure that it will be a total disappoinment in myself.i will never get back those result i expected. well,i am not brooding over it.

Monday, January 01, 2007

goodbye 2006 and welcome 2007. hope everyone has a blessed and smooth year ahead. (: thinking back,i guess everything has passed by very fast without you knowing it. reminiscence those memory we have...

jan06 - the year of stress and also the most enjoyable year!! hearing all those comment by the teachers,asking us to study hard for our o level.it has been a little frustarting heaing it repeatedly but we know that it is for our own good. 4e1 is a class with joy and laughter and also a class which share the joy and sorrow.

feb06 - repeat students joinned our class.although they are a little anti-soical,they get along with our class quite well.again,hearing those comment from the teachers and those teacher pushing us to study hard was alright.new stuffs being taught and we have to get use to it with the stress and homework given to us,especially with combined humanlities, where everyone complained about the double stress added on.

march06 - the sec4s join in for the scout jobweek for the last year.although it has been a little tiring and we are trying to slack every chance we got,we enjoy ourselves and also,we learn new skills.also,some of us in the committee are meeting up with ghimmoh people for our big event-investiture.the big event actually went well on the actual day.

april06 - the most memorable birthday i have got i guess.

may06/june06 - double triple stressed added on cause it's midyear.despite mugging real hard for midyear,i screwed it up super badly.mdm fong talked to me and ask me to plan a study timetable.i did and i follow during the june holiday.june holiday was horrendous.going back for scout and scout and scout.i hate it man.hahaha.maybe i have lose interest in scouting that particular time due to o level stress.hahaha.also june was the month where we are taking our chinese 0 level paper.the paper was fairly alright.

july06 - the month that i will remember for the rest of my life,the month that make me stop trusting everyone,the month that i got fool by u*,the month where everyone is like against me,the month where bloody gossiper which turns out to be the someone i am close with,started everything and spread rumours around.the month where everything was up and down. and i am feeling terrible and emosional and every given chance. the month where HE* which is my dear manages to bring back my smile and stayed by me to share my joy and sorrow. (:

aug06 - chinese o result was out and it turns out to be great for me. exam stress XXXXX. also,advanced teacher celebration bring our class closer (: scout step down celebration too.really enjoyable but sad.

sep06 - mugmugmugmugmug.have been mugging everyday at every given chance. LOL. prelim result turn out to be better than midyear alotalot though combined humanlitiles was badly done for me. :(

oct06 - going to and fro to cc to mug for o level,pestering teacher for every given chance to tutor me.also,we have our gaduation-night.awww..it is very sweet and memorable.tears almost trickled down but we arnt gonna spoilt the happy mood we have right.haha.before i forgot,lesden,thanks for ur sweet message on the little gift u gave.u arnt fogotten alright?

nov06 - the month where i have never seen such serious face on everyone's face.everyone was serious in every o level paper.well,im not going to brood over those o level examination again.what's over is over,i am not going to brood over those stuffs.it is just making me more paranoid about the coming result i am getting.

dec06 - woots.holiday mood without any stress.however,i am rotting very very badly.job hunting was a failure but enjoy the both chalet that was planned.also,the christmas party at deardear house was great. (: it's was enjoyable.


TODAY
the first day of 2007.wish everything ahead was smooth.grant me three wishes please and that's all i need. everlasting love,good result and _________. keep it till the last minutes i need....